To be happy is not that we need more knowledge, but to have less false knowledge. - Francis Lucille.
Our spiritual practices do not mean anything unless they lead us to the path of SELF-realization. The 10, 20, 100-day retreats, be it in a 5-star yoga sanctuary or out in the high mountains of the Himalayas; the daily 20-minute or 2-hour meditations; the weekly satsangs with our beloved teachers; the yearly pilgrimage to the holiest of places; the burning of incense, the impressive collection of crystals, the YouTube videos of our favorite mantras that are on non-stop loop playing in the background, the morning/ evening routine of gratitude expression, the utterance of "may love and light be with you" or "namaste" at every "like-minded" person we meet, the endless journaling - just to name a few.
Perhaps we have lost the meaning to it all. Perhaps we have forgotten why we are on this path to start with.
What lead me here was my desire to know the highest truth. Ever since I was a little girl standing alone at the kitchen sink doing the dishes while the quarreling was happening in the livingroom, I have been asking God to show me the purpose of our being. "Who am I?" and "What am I doing here?" were my 2 FAQs to God at the time.
Although the desire to know the truth may have slowly faded into the background once I became a young adult, eager to soak in what the material world had to offer, it seemed that God had not forgotten that he owed me an answer. But the answer did not come easily nor swiftly.
Dark night of the soul? Sure I have gone through plenty. Friendless, jobless, broken marriage, cancer. I've lived in darkness, I've lived in anger and I've lived in a state of intense fear, for months and years at times.
So what is your purpose?
You are obviously here for a reason. Do you truly know?
It is easy to get ourselves lost in this age of information. We are deeply immersed with new knowledge and information that without a firm understanding of what set us out into the spiritual unknown in the first place, we will inevitably drown ourselves in false knowledge that are not only a distraction, but are a detriment to our faith.
The glamor that this new kind of spirituality seems to offer have preoccupied many of us. The seemingly tranquil yoga studios, the allure of the charismatic new age teachers, the sense of belonging and comfort that we get by being with fellow (perhaps equally lost) seekers, the idea that we create our reality with our minds, and that our desires can be fulfilled by surrendering our desire for desires.
Huh?
Spirituality has become a badge we wear proudly, a label to identify our new self-structure created by the ego-self. Instead of dropping of the ego identity, we are now clinging tightly to it.
Whatever the purpose is, our eagerness to answer this mysterious divine call from within has left us in a state of insatiable thirst for knowledge. Day and night, we drown ourselves in information, always in a hurry to learn more, fearing we may be running out of time. But out of time to do what? Or to become what exactly?
I was there. On the days I wasn't sitting at my guru's feet, I would be at the bookstore. And then spent the next few hours in Starbucks reading my newly acquired books. I remember one day at my guru's side, he finally said to me, "It is time to put your books away". I instinctively knew what he meant. But I didn't put them away. Not until many years later.
What is the purpose of this spiritual life?
The short answer is this: To live in liberation, free from the ignorance that we are not free, that we humans are in bondage.
It is in fact this ignorance that has kept human beings in the dark all these millennia. This ignorance has kept us believing that we are limited earthbound, flesh and blood beings separated from one another and from source. This is the illusion of separation that many spiritual teachings have warned us against. With this illusion we have completely lost sight of who we are.
The realization of the Self - the primordial awareness, can only be achieved through the peeling off of the layers upon layers of the conditioned self - the giving up of the false self. In fact, it is when one arrives at the state of no mind, or 'fana' in Suffism, which refers to the state of death before dying, can one realize one's true self.
We talk so much about letting go, giving up and surrendering. Perhaps here is where we should ask ourselves honestly: What have we given up? Or how much are we willing to give up in order to go back to our primordial nature, the source of bliss and liberation, and be rid of the identification with this limited sense of self?
True Spiritual Knowledge
True spiritual knowledge is the knowledge that leads you back to yourSELF. Not the knowledge on the best yoga postures or methods to meditate better or how to surrender with ease. Although don't get me wrong, these are useful tools we can use to help us get there. But there will come a point where these tools too will need to be surrendered.
It is not a process of acquiring more knowledge. It is a process of getting rid of false knowledge, especially those that glorify the false self - the ego.
Put away your books and return to your self. Know that you are already enlightened.
Thank you for reading. <3